Living a conscious life
Last Friday, on International Womens Day, a group of us said our final good-bye to an awe-inspiring woman.
We stopped, took a breath, then joined a rather large community in grief. Grief is such a strange thing. It is fiercely independent and personal, and yet, communal. Grief makes me review my life, my purpose and my plan.
Strangely, grief makes me assess my own trials. Grief makes me think deeper.
My first thought is usually that I do not deserve to feel the sadness that I feel because there is always someone who knew the person I have lost better, or more deeply.
She had such a big family who shared big love. She was gracious and generous.
Grief is difficult to rationalize. Who can make sense from this mix of emotions when they are on that journey?
My first year as a teacher was so much fun! I had graduated from University as a mature aged student with a young family of my own. My eldest child Emily start primary school the year I did (but I was a teacher).
Emily became friends with another shy little girl starting “big” school too. They spent the next few years in the same class.
Two of her older sisters were in my class over the next two years. They were both active, beautiful, intelligent, popular and funny children.
During the first week of class, during my first year as a teacher a number of incidents occurred with some of the students in my class. I can’t even remember what was going on, but I decided to deal with the situation before things got out of hand. After talking with the children, I contact their parents to let them know what was going on. I wanted to be a teacher who built relationships on open and honest conversations.
I called my daughter’s friend’s mum. Mum answered. I explained the situation. She explained that she had just opened a bottle of champagne because her last child (the ninth child) went to school on the bus today and she had no more kids at home all day.
I decided on that phone call that I wanted to be friends with her. And that we did.
My friend had a wonderful mix of compassion, care and fun. She lived simply. She loved big. She lived love. She was happy.
Her legacy is inspired love and commitment to family, community and people. Her legacy is in owning her vulnerabilities and unashamedly owning who she was. Her strength of character is the legacy that we will remember forever.
A GOOD LIFE
The finality of death is severe.
At the service on Friday, the community were asked if anyone wanted to share their stories of our friend.
I wish I had, but I didn’t. My mind has been ticking over ever since. I have been reminiscing about this miraculous woman and everything she had achieved in her seemingly short life. There have been many “ah ha” moments, a few tears, a review of my life and my of legacy.
It is in my grief that I review me. What will my legacy be?
GRIEF IS THE PRICE WE PAY FOR LOVE
David Kesslersays that grief is the price we pay for love. Think about that.
Is it worth it?
Would you forgo love because of grief?
David Kessler defines grief as:
… the internal part of loss, how we feel. The internal work of grief is a process, a journey. It does not end on a certain day or date. It is as individual as each of us. Grief is real because loss is real. Each grief has its own imprint, as distinctive and as unique as the person we lost. The pain of loss is so intense, so heartbreaking, because in loving we deeply connect with another human being, and grief is the reflection of the connection that has been lost.
USE LOVE AS YOUR WEAPON
The most powerful people in life are not necessarily the richest. Sometimes the most powerful people are those humble souls who are unaware of their power and influence. Their richness exists in who they are and the person they choose to be.
My friend was a woman who always had time for others. She was aware of her needs and cared for herself as well as others. She taught her family and those around her to live a good life. She was wise and able to help people “course correct” when their lives veered off track. She was generous. She was kind and compassionate. She was a strong woman who chose to live life from a high consciousness.
Our planet has lost a beautiful soul. My friend taught many people, many lessons. She loved openly and unconditionally. Her legacy is a legacy of love.
I wonder what my legacy will be?